Failure

 Failure is not anyone's favorite part of the journey... but it's inevitably included in every story.

I'm not going to tell you that I embrace failure.  In fact, I probably crumble harder in the face of failure than the average person.  As a Virgo *Insert Gen-Z hair tuck here*, I'm intensely aware of my own shortcomings.  The phrases "can I talk to you a moment" and "come see me in my office" fill my stomach with tangible dread.  I'm not even going to tell you that failing makes you stronger because, when faced with failure, banalities like that almost send me over the edge.

I do think that failure serves a purpose, however.  I've found that failure helps me make decisions.  It can either A) realign my goals or B) strengthen my resolve.  I'll give you an example.

I had an interview for a job that sounded absolutely freaking amazing.  I was exultant after getting off of the zoom call.  I paced outside for an hour afterward, daydreaming about my new life. (If you've read my past blog posts you'll know that I am an avid pacer).  Then, the wait started.

I waited two weeks before I heard back from the company.  I had even sent the proprietary "Thank you for meeting with me!" email.  Then, finally, after checking my inbox frenziedly for days, I received the "let down".

You know if the email starts off with "Thank you very much for taking the time..." that it's going to be a rejection.  I had known in my heart of hearts that it was coming.  A company doesn't *generally* ignore you for two weeks when they want to offer you a job, after all.  But it broke my heart nonetheless.  After the obligatory depression that ensued, I realized that I had gained some valuable decision-making input from the experience.

I wanted to go abroad.  No, I needed to go abroad.  My daydreams of living in South Korea were too poignant to ignore, despite the fact that I didn't get this particular job.  This particular failure taught me that my desire to go abroad was real and not just a passing phase.  It brought my goal into clearer definition than it had ever been before, and I now realize that it will sustain even through future failures.